They join, they enquire and then immediately disappear. Why ?

Discussion in 'Network Information, Suggestions and Feedback' started by Ron Goldstein, Aug 17, 2010.

  1. Ron Goldstein

    Ron Goldstein WW2 Veteran WW2 Veteran Patron

    I've just had a casual look at the members list and was immediately struck at the high number of new forum members who join, make a research enquiry and then, having received, in some cases, substantial help from other members, simply disappear without a further posting.

    I am aware that this is quite common behaviour, indeed I recently had an earnest plea from someone who wished to contact, through me, a long lost RAF friend but before I could arrange the meeting the enquirer had done the disappearing trick leaving everyone slightly pxxxxxd off. but the question still remains, why do they do it ?

    Any thoughts on the matter ?

    Ron
     
  2. Drew5233

    Drew5233 #FuturePilot 1940 Obsessive

    Hi Ron,

    I often think the same thing and then say to myself 'Onwards and upwards'. I do get a bit annoyed if I've gone to the trouble to find something for someone and don't receive a thank you. If thats the case with regular posters on here I don't help them anymore.

    Personaly I think there is probably a whole host of reasons with new members like:

    Some get the answer(s) they need and move on with their research.

    Some thought it was a good idea at the time.

    Some don't like the forum.

    Some don't bother when they realise they have to pay money for records.

    Some I would suspect personal circumstances change.

    WW2 as a subject is not everyones cup of tea but some just want to know about a relative. If that is the case then there is no need for them to come back here after their Q's are answered.

    I'm sure they are many more reasons than those listed above.

    I must admit I do find the people that join claiming to have a interest in WW2 in a intro post and never return a bit odd - unless they choose to do some lurking and not join in :unsure:

    Regards
    Andy
     
  3. DaveB

    DaveB Very Senior Member

    I thought it was just me.....

    I really enjoy answering queries where I think I have something useful to add, however, I find myself ending up with the feeling I have wasted my time more often than not.

    First off - begging the person who wants the info to actually give enough data to start an enquiry (eg the target's proper name, spelt correctly along with arm of service or any other info they hint that they have).

    Then after a bit of research putting the info on the thread to either get an "I already knew that" type of response or to hear nothing back at all.

    With the silent approach I am always left wondering if the applicant has just wandered off and forgotten about the query, or if they read it and liked it but didn't bother thanking anyone or it didn't answer their question and they left in disgust.


    (FWIW - the recent post concerning Htin Yain Lao has cheered me up)
     
  4. ww2ni

    ww2ni Senior Member

    I totally agree.

    It is rather annoying that these things happen. I think its simply a (Free) way for someone to forward their own research without having a genuine interest in sharing information which may be of interest to all of us.

    Frustrating however I dont think there is much that can be done about it.

    Onward and upward!!
     
  5. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    I am always left wondering if the applicant has just wandered off and forgotten about the query

    Quite often, this is the case.
    I periodically get emails from embarrassed bods that forgot they ever visited asking me to pass on thanks to an individual.

    sharing information which may be of interest to all of us.

    Been meaning to put something in the Rules, Welcome message, wherever, specifically stating that sharing info and making 'stuff' more accessible is a major raison d'ĂȘtre for this place (and hopefully any other historical/researchy forum).
    Got a war diary? Post it up.
    Compiled some useful lists or data? People love 'em.
    etc.

    I can understand why some writers/researchers might mantle little nuggets for a specific project, But most data needs sharing I reckon.
    There is a payback too, as the more you put out there, the more you tend to get back.
     
  6. pamela

    pamela Junior Member

    Hi everyone, I can't speak for others but I have been very grateful for all the help everyone has given me (see new member help please) and are still giving me. This is the first time I have ever joined a forum and I am not very good with computers but am doing my best. I haven't posted for a while but log on every day to catch up. It amazes me how much knowledge everyone has about world war two and I realise I knew nothing about it until I began researching my uncle. I check the forum every day to see if any other posting may help me in my research and I am following up on the help given. Thank you all again for your help.

    regards

    Pam
     
  7. marcus69x

    marcus69x I love WW2 meah!!!

    When I first joined the forum, it was because I needed some clarification as to what the War Games were. I never actually intended on becoming a regular user of the forum, however, I became hooked. :)I guess some people just need an answer to something they can't find on google, then once they've got it, they no longer need to bother with us.It's only the internet.... :)
     
  8. Drew5233

    Drew5233 #FuturePilot 1940 Obsessive

    When I first joined the forum, it was because I needed some clarification as to what the War Games were. I never actually intended on becoming a regular user of the forum, however, I became hooked. :)I guess some people just need an answer to something they can't find on google, then once they've got it, they no longer need to bother with us.It's only the internet.... :)


    Every now and then I look at my first post (Possibly a new thread?) and I find myself realising how little I knew back then compared to now.
     
  9. 52nd Airborne

    52nd Airborne Green Jacket Brat

    I received a PM from a new member a few months ago asking for my help, after spending the best part of the day searching and looking up things I duly replied to the PM.......... and didn't even get a thank you in fact I had no response at all, the new forumite hasn't even posted on the forum since.

    This left a bitter taste in my mouth, I've was always happy to help when someone asks but in since that incident I've been very reluctant to post and offer help.
     
  10. Swiper

    Swiper Resident Sospan

    I know the feeling. I've had some excellent leads given to me, met people who promise photos etc, give me their emails - get one responce saying 'will get round to it' and then they go silent. Its frustrating as this has happpened several times and a key interview I was promised by the chap never happened as his grandaughter dealt with the emails -_-
     
  11. 17thDYRCH

    17thDYRCH Senior Member Patron

    Interesting point that Ron brings up. I am a Canadian and recently joined the forum back in May of this year. My initial reason for joining was to find out more about the Italian Campaign in preparation for a trip to Italy. From most perspectives this was the forgotten battle of WW2 once the campaign in Normandy commenced. From my very first post came replies from Paul Reed, Owen, Drew, Adam, Tom Canning and Recce Mitch on what to see in Ortona and Monte Cassino. The speed of the replies was amazing.

    I have to admit that I was reluctant to post pics of the trip. " It's been done before so why bother". Tom Canning was the catalyst...the reason being that the more discussion that takes place, the more forum members will realize that the battle for France and NW Europe was not the only place where the Allied armies fought the Germans.

    Posting for a newbie can be a little intimidating. It takes a while to find out how to do upload files, send PM's etc.
    My recommendation is patience. The more patient the experts are, the better for all members.

    Cheers from the Colonies,

    Randy
     
    von Poop likes this.
  12. dbf

    dbf Moderatrix MOD

    I don't care now about motivations of others. I used to. I do this because I'm interested and because every now and again a true gem of a contact makes it all worthwhile.

    I anticipate that 3 out of every 5 will say thanks, 1 will ask for more and one won't reply.

    On the other hand I don't reply to some because I get requests like "give me all the info you have." Some complain I take too long to reply, and others I tell straight off to remind me to reply as I get waylaid quite often.

    Posting up my info is great ( now and again parts of it are sent back to me as a reciprocal thanks, typos and all :lol: ) and if the original enquirer isn't grateful, the next one will be.
     
    von Poop likes this.
  13. Paul Reed

    Paul Reed Ubique

    Personally I'm not really bothered by it. The internet is an impersonal medium and many people haven't quite got their head round how to behave on the Net; that is evident everywhere. Generally this forum is exceptional in the way its members interact in a friendly way.

    If we've helped someone out and they never say thank you publicly, so what? Personally I don't answer anything in the expectation of praise or thanks, but it's always nice when we get it.

    I'm sure as more and more WW2 records are released this will only become more common; it has certainly gone that way with WW1.
     
    von Poop likes this.
  14. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    Interesting point that Ron brings up. I am a Canadian and recently joined the forum back in May of this year. My initial reason for joining was to find out more about the Italian Campaign in preparation for a trip to Italy. From most perspectives this was the forgotten battle of WW2 once the campaign in Normandy commenced. From my very first post came replies from Paul Reed, Owen, Drew, Adam, Tom Canning and Recce Mitch on what to see in Ortona and Monte Cassino. The speed of the replies was amazing.

    I have to admit that I was reluctant to post pics of the trip. " It's been done before so why bother". Tom Canning was the catalyst...the reason being that the more discussion that takes place, the more forum members will realize that the battle for France and NW Europe was not the only place where the Allied armies fought the Germans.

    Posting for a newbie can be a little intimidating. It takes a while to find out how to do upload files, send PM's etc.
    My recommendation is patience. The more patient the experts are, the better for all members.

    Cheers from the Colonies,

    Randy

    I don't care now about motivations of others. I used to. I do this because I'm interested and because every now and again a true gem of a contact makes it all worthwhile.

    I anticipate that 3 out of every 5 will say thanks, 1 will ask for more and one won't reply.

    On the other hand I don't reply to some because I get requests like "give me all the info you have." Some complain I take too long to reply, and others I tell straight off to remind me to reply as I get waylaid quite often.

    Posting up my info is great ( now and again parts of it are sent back to me as a reciprocal thanks, typos and all :lol: ) and if the original enquirer isn't grateful, the next one will be.

    If we've helped someone out and they never say thank you publicly, so what? Personally I don't answer anything in the expectation of praise or thanks, but it's always nice when we get it.

    Positivity - Love it.
    If someone doesn't say thanks; ah well, at least they might have triggered another little topic for the rest of us to rattle on about, or the answers helpfully given will be yet another tiny piece added to the WW2 Internet jigsaw.
     
  15. JackW

    JackW Member

    Hi to all.

    I've only been a member for two months on this site and the info and help received from members on here has made it very worthwhile indeed.
    What makes it more enjoyable is the distinct lack of bickering that some other sites seem to generate amongst its members.
    Common curtesy is to acknowlege an answer to a question posed.

    Many thanks to you all.

    Regards
    Jack.
     
    dbf likes this.
  16. Tom Canning

    Tom Canning WW2 Veteran WW2 Veteran

    In this day and age - I put it down to sheer bad manners - it's all around us these days - so why should it be any different on the forum - we put up with it daily in the stores etc and DO nothing about it so what can we expect - personally - I think it would be nice if everyone acted as we old timers do and extend GOOD manners to everyone - but - It's a different world to-day and manners are away down the slope...
    My wife when walking through London on one of her visits heard very bad language being used by some youths to giggling schoolgirls - she stopped and remonstrated with them pointing out that English was a wonderful language and there was no need for using the worst of it .....the youths stood up and apologised.....my Daughter was having a heart attack as she thought that knives would enter the proceedings....my wife then told her that if no one teaches good manners - how can they differentiate - as the schools don't seem to bother to-day !

    So Adam - you might point out to Newbies that GOOD manners are appreciated here ...
    Cheers
    Cheers
     
  17. Fireman

    Fireman Discharged

    I think one reason why someone may be put off continuing is the reaction one receives when something controversial and perhaps delicate is posted. I speak from experience!!! My very first posting was a rather clumsy comment about the holocaust. The reaction was quite incredible. I was accused of everything, a denier being the most pleasant!! filthy language the norm!! (the posts are still there)
    Fortunately everything worked out but it took a lot of work and argument on my part before the dust settled. The problem was that instead of asking me questions as to why I had posted what I did accusations came thick and fast and I was too busy arguing to try and explain anything. In fact it wasn't until CLI calmed it all down and asked a question that the storm abated. My point is that sometimes new posters are agressively replied to and this puts them off. I have seen it often in the short time I have been a member. Rather than a smart arse remark or insult a question could be asked as to why he:she said what they did and a new member retained.
    I'm sure there are other reasons but that is one I'm sure.
     
    marcus69x likes this.
  18. Smudger Jnr

    Smudger Jnr Our Man in Berlin

    There may be a lot of information you wish to know posted somewhere on the internet.

    Finding it can sometimes pose a problem for people and so I have no problem in helping anyone in need if I can do so.

    I have always found that the forum members are extremely helpful when questions have been asked and long may the forum remain so.

    Regards
    Tom
     
  19. marcus69x

    marcus69x I love WW2 meah!!!

    Fireman's got a good point.
     
  20. Drew5233

    Drew5233 #FuturePilot 1940 Obsessive

    I think one reason why someone may be put off continuing is the reaction one receives when something controversial and perhaps delicate is posted. I speak from experience!!! My very first posting was a rather clumsy comment about the holocaust. The reaction was quite incredible. I was accused of everything, a denier being the most pleasant!! filthy language the norm!! (the posts are still there)
    Fortunately everything worked out but it took a lot of work and argument on my part before the dust settled. The problem was that instead of asking me questions as to why I had posted what I did accusations came thick and fast and I was too busy arguing to try and explain anything. In fact it wasn't until CLI calmed it all down and asked a question that the storm abated. My point is that sometimes new posters are agressively replied to and this puts them off. I have seen it often in the short time I have been a member. Rather than a smart arse remark or insult a question could be asked as to why he:she said what they did and a new member retained.
    I'm sure there are other reasons but that is one I'm sure.

    And some of us stuck up for you too. ;)
     

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