Worst Ever War Movie?

Discussion in 'Books, Films, TV, Radio' started by canuck, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. Capt Bill

    Capt Bill wanderin off at a tangent

  2. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    the joys of being off work - just sat and watched daytime tv

    and 'Escape to Athena' Escape to Athena (1979) - IMDb

    enjoyable film, but ...


    I agree it was a fantastic cast and a pretty good story idea, Capt Bill, but the actors all seemed to be just going through the paces to earn a pay check, especially Peck. Bad directing, maybe?
     
  3. Vitesse

    Vitesse Senior Member

    I'm surprised Anthony Valentine had the cheek to take the money, as all he did was reprise his role in "Colditz" - and he didn't have to limp either! :lol:
     
  4. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    My apologies, for some reason I thought Capt Bill was talking about The Sea Wolves instead of Escape to Athena. No clue why. Can't be making mistakes on important stuff like this!

    The Sea Wolves (1980) - IMDb
     
  5. Oldman

    Oldman Very Senior Member

    How about Escape to Victory? good footballers crap film
     
  6. Za Rodinu

    Za Rodinu Hot air manufacturer

    Just saw in Tank-Net this script for what might be a great film :)

    ----//----

    Damn, i can imagine the Hollywood version of this: "The Hunt for Belgrano"......

    The argentine super cruiser ARA Belgrano (captained by a steel eyed silverfox of german descent) roams the South Atlantic intercepting british supply and transport ships going south to the Falklands. With its automatic 8-inch guns no ship can stand up to it!. A special royal navy task force comprised of the cruisers HMS Tiger and Blake + a few Type 42s are assembled near the Falklands to go hunt the argie cruiser.

    In an attempt of goodwill and support the US navy dispatches the missile cruiser USS Yorktown to help the RN, fresh from the builders yard, with many systems not yet operational (inc the Aegis system) and with a crew of ragtag misfits (with the full monty of stock characters: goodnatured midwest farmboys, openly rivaling officers, Bronx wisecracks,a cigarchewing veteran, SoCal fratboy surfers, fiesty texans etc) who at first are more concerned with fighting each other than to find the argie cruiser ("Do we have to bail those yurps out again??").

    The snotty stiff upper lip brits laugh of this amatuerish assistance, relegating the Yorktown to covering the rear of the taskforce. The US captain constantly pester the british officers with warnings about the argie super cruiser, but the brits are mostly concerned with lavish dinners, morning inspections, fashionable Jodhpurs and discussing foxhunts, assuring him that he should not bother his little colonial head with such matters.

    The inevitable showdown occures and the british ships go in for the action, leaving the Yorktown far behind. The Belgrano heavily pound the british ships with automatic 8-inch fire and they are forced to retreat, losing both type 42s and the Blake. With Tiger burning heavily the Yorktown arrive at the scene and at full speed and damn the torpedoes start to engage the argies with deadly accurate 5-inch gunfire. However the argies prove to be too much of a challenge and the 5-inch guns are disabled at the worst possible moment.

    Just as the Belgrano is about to deliver the coup de grace the Aegis system final come online, having been fixed in the last minute by the comic sidekick with a funny accent. Volley after volley of missiles are fired which tear the Belgrano apart in a napalmesque fury, which the battled and bloodied crew of the Yorktown greet with a unanimous battlecry: "Freedom!!"

    The disgraced RN officers and crew bow to the ragtag band of misfits and chant that they have so much more to learn from the USN and its hardy sailors who are fueled by such passion for freedom and liberty.

    Belgrano would be played by USS Salem, Tiger and Blake by HMS Bristol (or preferably whatever could be found in the nearest USN mothball fleet that does not look like a modern US cruiser or destroyer), the Type 42s by some clapped out Perry class frigates and Yorktown by a later model Ticonderoga.

    And yes, Affleck and Wahlberg would be in the leading roles, Matt Damon would play a brit (and have a rediculous fake accent) who secretly agree with americans but who dare not speak out in fear of being relegated to a Northern Irish shore establishment.
     
  7. canuck

    canuck Closed Account

    Miguel
    Sounds like a typical Hollywood formula movie but count on also having a rogue Russian submarine commander and a fanatical arab terrorist woven into the 'plot'!:lol:
     
  8. KevinC

    KevinC Slightly wierd

    I've just spent 3 nights trying to get through "Inglorious Basterds"

    Now I have to throw away all of my history books. I always thought Hitler died in Berlin, not Paris.
     
  9. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    I've just spent 3 nights trying to get through "Inglorious Basterds"

    Now I have to throw away all of my history books. I always thought Hitler died in Berlin, not Paris.
    Nein, nein, nein!!!!
     
  10. STAN50

    STAN50 Senior Member

    'Spoils Of War' - biggest load of rubbish I've ever watched. Special effects cheap and nasty. They don't even fire blank ammunition - muzzle flashes are digitally enhanced and look nothing like the real thing.

    It was so bad I never got as far as the end - that's unusual for me when it's a war film.

    It was supposed to be based on a true story 'Operation Bernard' a Nazi plan to flood the British economy with counterfeit banknotes but in no way does it do live up one's expectations. I would have thought a ten year old child could have done better.

    Just my opinion though!

    Stan.
     
  11. Jedburgh22

    Jedburgh22 Very Senior Member

    I'm sure Hitler died in Warsaw - at least according to Mel Brooks
     
  12. Roxy

    Roxy Senior Member

    Objective Burma is currently on Channel 5. I've heard that it was ...

    Roxy
     
  13. Slipdigit

    Slipdigit Old Hickory Recon

    Miguel, good synopsis...but you left out a few important things.
    1. The big bosomed baby doll that the fire control officer of the Yorktown left in a tearful scene at the dock when they sailed. He dies as he gives the command to fire the missiles and whispers her name with his last breath.
    2. The US crew is obligated to have a dim-witted Southerner who cannot get out a five word sentence out in less than a minute. He mostly lays on his bunk, reading comic books or the Bible. This part must be played by someone who has never heard a Southerner speak and thinks that they must use the word "y'all" in every sentence, even when talking to one person.
    3. There is also a 16 year old who is a stowaway. He causes all sorts of problems after he is found, but ends up saving the captain's life by using the earphones from his iPod as a tourniquet.
    4. The British petty officer that stomps to attention, rendering a salute every time an officer comes within line of sight of him, even if the officer is at the other end of the ship, talking to someone else. He has a mustache that would make a walrus envious and he spends his time yelling at the rates for no apparent reason. The only words he ever says to officers is when he yells "Right away, Sir!" but he knows who really runs the ship.
    5. You also did not develop the scene on the Belgrano as it is sinking. As the bridge crew lays dying, they expound that maybe they were fighting for the wrong cause. Then, you cut over to the US crew crying "Freedom."

    Just saw in Tank-Net this script for what might be a great film :)

    ----//----

    Damn, i can imagine the Hollywood version of this: "The Hunt for Belgrano"......

    The argentine super cruiser ARA Belgrano (captained by a steel eyed silverfox of german descent) roams the South Atlantic intercepting british supply and transport ships going south to the Falklands. With its automatic 8-inch guns no ship can stand up to it!. A special royal navy task force comprised of the cruisers HMS Tiger and Blake + a few Type 42s are assembled near the Falklands to go hunt the argie cruiser.

    In an attempt of goodwill and support the US navy dispatches the missile cruiser USS Yorktown to help the RN, fresh from the builders yard, with many systems not yet operational (inc the Aegis system) and with a crew of ragtag misfits (with the full monty of stock characters: goodnatured midwest farmboys, openly rivaling officers, Bronx wisecracks,a cigarchewing veteran, SoCal fratboy surfers, fiesty texans etc) who at first are more concerned with fighting each other than to find the argie cruiser ("Do we have to bail those yurps out again??").

    The snotty stiff upper lip brits laugh of this amatuerish assistance, relegating the Yorktown to covering the rear of the taskforce. The US captain constantly pester the british officers with warnings about the argie super cruiser, but the brits are mostly concerned with lavish dinners, morning inspections, fashionable Jodhpurs and discussing foxhunts, assuring him that he should not bother his little colonial head with such matters.

    The inevitable showdown occures and the british ships go in for the action, leaving the Yorktown far behind. The Belgrano heavily pound the british ships with automatic 8-inch fire and they are forced to retreat, losing both type 42s and the Blake. With Tiger burning heavily the Yorktown arrive at the scene and at full speed and damn the torpedoes start to engage the argies with deadly accurate 5-inch gunfire. However the argies prove to be too much of a challenge and the 5-inch guns are disabled at the worst possible moment.

    Just as the Belgrano is about to deliver the coup de grace the Aegis system final come online, having been fixed in the last minute by the comic sidekick with a funny accent. Volley after volley of missiles are fired which tear the Belgrano apart in a napalmesque fury, which the battled and bloodied crew of the Yorktown greet with a unanimous battlecry: "Freedom!!"

    The disgraced RN officers and crew bow to the ragtag band of misfits and chant that they have so much more to learn from the USN and its hardy sailors who are fueled by such passion for freedom and liberty.

    Belgrano would be played by USS Salem, Tiger and Blake by HMS Bristol (or preferably whatever could be found in the nearest USN mothball fleet that does not look like a modern US cruiser or destroyer), the Type 42s by some clapped out Perry class frigates and Yorktown by a later model Ticonderoga.

    And yes, Affleck and Wahlberg would be in the leading roles, Matt Damon would play a brit (and have a rediculous fake accent) who secretly agree with americans but who dare not speak out in fear of being relegated to a Northern Irish shore establishment.
     
    Za Rodinu likes this.
  14. Za Rodinu

    Za Rodinu Hot air manufacturer

    Still you're missing the Japanese attaché (Toshiro Mifune) doing a reprise of his famous AA fire control scene in "Midway" as Adm. Yamamoto, katana in hand :D
     
  15. Goodygixxer

    Goodygixxer Senior Member

    Everymans War
    The Fallen
    Assembly
    Days of Glory

    All fairly new war films but also pretty rubbish!
     
  16. Mr Bradbury

    Mr Bradbury Junior Member

    As you get older you look back a bit more informed. If Where Eagles Dare came out now I would' nt rate it. But in my youth it was a classic. Ingrid Pitt was a game changer too!
     
  17. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    As you get older you look back a bit more informed. If Where Eagles Dare came out now I would' nt rate it. But in my youth it was a classic. Ingrid Pitt was a game changer too!

    "Major Himmler. Is the name familar to you?" :)
     
  18. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    Miguel, good synopsis...but you left out a few important things.

    1. The big bosomed baby doll that the fire control officer of the Yorktown left in a tearful scene at the dock when they sailed. He dies as he gives the command to fire the missiles and whispers her name with his last breath.
    ."


    If the movie were made today she would BE the fire control officer and the only capable office among the sexist, knuckle dragging men!
     
  19. Mr Bradbury

    Mr Bradbury Junior Member

  20. Mark Hone

    Mark Hone Senior Member

    'Objective Burma' is not as bad as its reputation suggests. It is actually quite a dour, downbeat war film in which most of the goodies perish on the mission and the reaminder are eventually rescued when they are at a pretty low ebb. It became controversial in the UK because it effectively ignores the British contribution to the Burma campaign, in which American ground forces were really just bit-part players. As I recall you only catch sight of a couple of British soldiers and Gurkhas in the background of one sequence.
    My dad, who was a 14th Army combat veteran, actually quite enjoyed it when he saw it a few years ago. He thought it was better than some of the 'silly' war films set in the Far East , like his particular bete noire 'Bridge on the River Kwai'. Incidentally my dad had great respect for the American supply plane crews (including child film star Jackie Coogan) who he said were far more daring and accurate than the RAF.
     
    brithm likes this.

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