The WW2Talk Agony Aunt.

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Owen, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. Verrieres

    Verrieres no longer a member

    Dear Mr Speer,
    Might I remind you that new legisation is in place regarding immigrant workers and I trust we will not have the same problems we have encountered from your past ventures into the building trade
    Dr Verrieres
    PS If your planning application is succesfull then please bear in mind Arthur Harris(demolition) Ltd for any clearance work he is approved by the Government
  2. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    I have spoken to Mrs Jenkins and she would like to warn you about a cowboy that also works in this trade. She tells me a largish contractor; Mr Goering, seemed such a jolly man on signing the contract but often failed to turn up, felt he knew more than the architects and kept changing their plan. He made many false promises and consistently fell out with Mr Bader next door over parking his van.

    Mrs Trellis.
  3. Gerard

    Gerard Seelow/Prora

    Is that the chap called Meier???? In relation to Mr. Speers query can I recommend Todt Employment Agency? They normally deal with Contract staff - nothing permanent mind you. They are specialists in construction, especially near coastal areas. Their staff might not be the hardest working but their designs do stay up - Mr. P. Reynaud and Mr. De Gaulle of Lorient and St. Nazaire repectively can testify to this.
  4. Capt.Sensible

    Capt.Sensible Well-Known Member

    As, indeed, would Mr Harris.......;)
  5. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    Having just collected my daily sack of hate-mail, I see that inside there is a flier from Mr Zhukhov's General Building Company.
    It informs me that he's currently looking to expand into a Berlin office and has a large and willing workforce with a fleet of very useful caterpillar vehicles ready for action.

    He might be worth a call?
  6. Capt.Sensible

    Capt.Sensible Well-Known Member

    I would be careful about Mr Zhukhov: like most builders he keeps several projects on the go at the same time and there are strong rumours that he expects to send much of his machinery and sub-contractors to a potentially very nice little earner in Manchuria.

  7. Gerard

    Gerard Seelow/Prora

    As I recall, he almost botched the Berlin Job. Those gardens in Seelow took longer than expected and Mr. Djugashvilli almost gave the job to a Mr. Koniev who was a bit miffed to lose out. No denying his effectiveness though. What he lacks in finesse he makes up for in speed.
  8. Gerard

    Gerard Seelow/Prora

    :lol: so he is a bit of a :cowboy_125: then????
  9. Za Rodinu

    Za Rodinu Hot air manufacturer

    Dear Auntie,

    Would you kindly provide a street address so I can forward you my health services bill for a cracked rib?

    Yours sincerely,

  10. Owen

    Owen -- --- -.. MOD

    Dear Auntie Talk,
    I'm currently expanding my business into North Africa but I'm afraid alot of my staff all have a digestive problem, they all seem to get the runs.
    What do you suggest?
  11. Verrieres

    Verrieres no longer a member

    Dear Auntie Talk,
    Our next door neighbour said "In War the Bullet that kills you will have your name on it" I find this extremely worrying Do you think this is true?
    Mr & Mrs Doodlebug

    From the casebook of Dr Verrieres
  12. Gerard

    Gerard Seelow/Prora

    Dear Auntie Talk

    Can you recommend a good winter clothing shop. Myself and the chaps in my crew are finding the cold in Stalingrad an impedence to completing the job. whats worse a bunch of kids from the Djugashvilis on both sides of us have taken all our supplies. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Happy christmas

    F Paulus

    P.S. If you have an old sandwich there could you pop it in the envelope too, I'm a bit peckish!
  13. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    As my middle names are '.303. & '7.92' I have come to live with this saying.
    Don't let it worry you overly.
  14. Owen

    Owen -- --- -.. MOD

    Mr & Mrs Doodlebug,
    If that is true then change your name by Deed-poll to

    'Training Round'.

    I think you will be fine then.
  15. Shane Greer

    Shane Greer We're Doomed

    In that case if a bullet has my name on it I will be very concerned in relation to the calibre.

    Mr Antonio Picardo Valencia Muchacho Pedros III
  16. marcus69x

    marcus69x I love WW2 meah!!!

    Dear Verrieres,

    Please don't worry about this as I have had many letters like yours.

    All you have to do is clench your muscles when ever you're out and about and the bullet will bounce off you.

    Dear Auntie talk
  17. Verrieres

    Verrieres no longer a member

    Dear Auntie Talk,
    Thank you for your advice, I persauded Mr & Mrs Doodlebug to try out your theory and it has produced some unexpected results which I have recorded below

    Gun+ Bullet+ Mr Doodlebug =Mrs Doodlebug Funeral Friday x Mr Doodlebug accused of murder =Life imprisonment

    Dr Verrieres
  18. Gage

    Gage The Battle of Barking Creek MOD

    Dear Auntie Talk,
    I'm worried about it raining 'cats and dogs', should I buy a very big helmet?
    Yours, Girls Aloud's gynaecologist.
  19. Verrieres

    Verrieres no longer a member

    Dear Girls Aloud's gynaecologist.

    What a splendid idea! but a big helmet will not protect you when its `Hailing Taxis`
    Tell me is it true that when Gynaecologists decorate their homes they will often Wallpaper the Hallway through the Letterbox in the front door?
    Dr Verrieres
  20. Mr Jinks

    Mr Jinks Bit of a Cad

    Old thread but very very funny,Well done to all :)


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