Theres a great story in General Mike Jacksons Bio, (which is a great read BTW) where Jackson at that point being a 3 star general and Chief of Staff. The highest Ranking soldier in the Army (??) gets a sarchastic bollocking from the one of the guards regiments RSM's for turning up late to one of the queens big do's. Brilliant! Kev
Hi Tom, A sign of the times then, when the R.S.M. is younger than you .... I thought that was meant to be policemen. Thanks for putting up the stories about chits and for explaining TQMS. This is all helping me to understand a lot. Thanks Ronnie, I remember that thread. Found a few of my fav. stories in a particular book of my father's. Have a bit more on a particularly well-respected R.S.M. Grant, but he's for the IG thread. According to a quote he addressed a Ruling monarch, "You idle Monarch, sir!"
Was there such a thing as Sergeant Major humour? e.g. "Am I hurting you boy?" "No sir" "Well I should be, 'cos I'm standing on your bloody hair!" ...or was it just invented by popular comedy shows?
Steve I think it is just life in general Whatever walk of life you are in you always get the humour branch within a management team some funny some cruel
These snippets from my National Service memories 1958 A drill Sergeant in full flow was something to behold, they had such a command of language (They never swore) they could reduce men to cowering wrecks in seconds, Looking back it was an art form with unending cynical humour and put downs acquired over years. Drill Sergeants were a breed on their own with an endless repartee. “I want you to raise your left foot 12 inches and drive it down 18” “You will move your head and eye’s to the right so fast I want to hear your eyeballs click” “You may have broke your mothers heart but you won’t break mine” When the Cpl. saw the inspecting group approaching he would bring the room to attention, you then had to stand rigid looking to the front. If you let your eyes wander, and the Plt. Sgt. caught you looking at him he was likely to come up to you with his face inches away from yours shout at the top of his voice something like “Who are you looking at, do you fancy me, are you some sort of queer, you only look at me when I tell you, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AT ME”…………and so on. RSM Nobby Arnold (ex boxing team complete with broken nose) was a legend in the Parachute Regiment, and RSM of the Depot making him the senior RSM of the Regiment. Walking around his Mess he spotted a civilian employee's locker open and untidy; he had it arrested and locked in a cell in the Guard room. If the civvy wanted anything from his locker he had to sign a prisoner visiting form. On another occasion whilst on parade in front of the whole Battalion he accidentally dropped his Pace Stick. He turned out the Guard, accused it of being an idle Pace Stick and again had it arrested and locked in a cell.
Swerving a little off topic ,but having mentioned Nobby one of my personal memories of him. We were in Aldershot preparing to parachute in on an exercise along with one of the Regular Battalions. TA parachutists are used to doing everything required on a Friday night to parachute next morning. Reg Army are a bit more relaxed and spend a couple of days on it so, all preparations done, we had a day to spare. The Airborne Museum at that time was alongside the Depot. I decided to send a large group there. One of the TA soldiers had a beard and an “excused shaving” chitty to go with it. The story goes that when RSM Arnold spotted the soldier's beard he came out of his office window on the second floor and hovered over the square for several seconds before swooping down on the unfortunate soldier, but I think this may be a bit of an exaggeration. As it was he ripped up the chitty when presented and had everybody in sight arrested and locked in the Guard room. I received a phone call saying that the RSM had arrested my Company, had them in the cells, and did I want to come down and discuss it with him. I chickened out and sent the Company Commander.
Sandhurst 1959. Our CSM (Scots Guards), to a supposedly idle Officer Cadet. 'Do that again, Sir, and I'll kiss you, Sir, - a fate worse than death!' Chris
There was a famous Warrant Officer, whos name I forget, at Sandhurst. He as reputed to not only have the loudest voice in the army but also a sense of humour. Addressing a new intake of officer cadets: 'You will adress me as sir because I am a Warrant Officer. I will adress you as sir because you are officer cadets. The difference is that you will mean it.' Or 'Hussain, you horrible little king, what do you think you are doing.' Mike
When I was in Burma in 2008, there were two veterans on the trip with us, one had been a 2nd Lieutenant, the other a RSM. One night they gave us a little skit, as if back on the parade ground. The RSM taking the lead: RSM (Poking his swagger stick into the ribs of the new Officer Cadet): On the end of this stick is a right f***ing ar***ole. 2nd Lieutenant: I imagine Sergeant Major over the coming weeks we shall discover at which end. Then: A new cadet is on the parade ground when the RSM appears and challenges him thus: RSM: You man, what's your name? Cadet (in a south London accent): Smith sir! RSM: How many F's in Smith son? Cadet: Just two sir! RSM: I shall call you Effing Smith, now stand to attention.
Sometime in 1961, my Paternal Grandfather (at the time a Lance Corporal) marched into the office of his RSM. He said something along the lines of 'Sir, I would like permission to marry your daughter'; well, the RSM must have seen his potential because he said yes! He wasn't wrong, my Grandfather eventually made Lieutenant Colonel but I always thought he should have got the VC for his courage that day. Cheers
Following on from Alistair’s above post I did a little bit of research into RSM Archer, Scots Guards and created this topic - RSM (later Lt QM) Freddie Archer Scots Guards MBE MM I’ve attached an interesting 1943 letter from a Gdsn Withers to the then Lt (QM) Archer - especially moving as Gdsn Withers was wounded at Anzio with 1st SG in January 1944 and died from his wounds in June 1944. Steve
The hilarity described at the medical inspection attended by RSM Brittain reminded me of our initial bicycle drill lesson at Sandhurst 1959, run by the same CSM of the Scots Guards as featured above. It was, probably on purpose, carried out on a small square well in rear of the main buildings and unlikely to be observed by the public. It turned out that our platoon contained one Officer Cadet who for whatever reason had never learned to ride a bicycle confidently. After moving this individual to the rear rank so he could stop and arrange himself for mounting without delaying other members of the squad, some sort of order was eventually maintained, but not before a few moments of the sort of hilarity described in the RSM Brittain entry above. Even the CSM joined in; he did have a sense of humour after all. Chris
