Military Awkwardness (how to get along on the forum)

I'm starting to think i have a problem of some kind. So i want to say this now, that if you DON'T intend of helping me, or saying anything positive, please just don't post.

Okay, so when i sign up to Forums of similar goals to this one, i often end up offending people. It's not like i intentionally go out looking to insult people, but somone will ask my a question, or make a remark i consider "Rude" and i will try in my own way, to make a balanced and level headed reply back to them, adressing where they are wrong, and trying to make my original point more clear. However, even though i do this as best as i can, i always end up being warned by an Admin on my behavior. Surley the other person is just as guilty as i am??

But i like to think i'm a person of reason, and even though i personally believe that i'm not the troublemaker, i am open to the fact that i may just have problems getting a point across, or even in accepting critisism. Perhaps an example will help gain a better understanding...

Other person:
I would think speaking in correct English, and leaving out the ignorant slang, would make a better impression.

Reply:
And why am i forbidden to use Colloquial language on the forum? I would have thought that i would be okay using the word "Dude". It's hardly an offensive word or anything, and the fact you brought it up makes me feel a little offended if i'm honest.

Am i REALLY wrong here? I'm not just trying to prove my point, but this is how i ALWAYS try to bring my point to reason. Perhaps somone can tell me where i have gone wrong, because i honestly can't see it.

 

Hellofawaytodie,
I am old enough to be your father. And, having reached that ripe old age, I have come to the conclusion that you did not learn enough from the replies to your last foray in to this forum.
And, I can see that you do enjoy stirring it up.
Better luck elsewhere.

 

Look, i don't like arguing ! No, i don't even see how i'm wrong. I only give in to things because i know i have no hope of getting my point across. It's just everytime i try, i always mess it up somehow with NO intention of doing it. Way i see it, people tlak about respect but just comingg up to me saying things like "You should show respect or consider using other words blahblahblah" you know, i feel like i'm being personally attacked! I'm only trying too defend myself here. I see it as people taking personal comments and attacking me to make myself feel bad.
I just want it to stop....you don't know how hard it was for me to make this thread.

 

Hi,

I often feel as you do, that I am not getting my point across, and I am also old enough to be your father, but not just here on this forum.

The fact that you have recognised you may not be getting your point across, and in your attempts antagonising people, is a positive direction and should be respected. I shall also point out, that others here on the forum antagonise people and are accepted, so I have an issue if you are being forced out.

Myself, I sit and think about what I want to say, or ask and make notes on what I want to say, and write the questions and comments in Word to check whether or not I have confused what I am saying or if I think it may offend. If I believe it is wither of the two I will rewrite and try again. If I still think there may be an issue I ask someone of Forum to read it and help.

The other way to get into the flow here is to not push your view once you start to get attack, and here I am thinking of the SS role playing group - not I think a good thread.

Have your views, express them, do it gently and politely and you will earn resepect from those you have said you respect. When you have their respect you can ask more of the difficult and more touchy questions that you wish to ask.

Mark

 

I also think it may be an idea to change your username and signature.

It's probably just me, but I feel they are projecting the image of a person who is glorifying death - which to me is not a positive image.

Mark

 

Hellofawaytodie

You have every right to ask questions and it is a positive you have an interest in history.

As stated before this forum includes a varied cross section of the planet and we all try to bring our thoughts and knowledge to the threads.


please join in but remember your audience is vast and varied

 

x

 

I generally go by the rule, that if I'm visiting a forum that's frequented by a large cross section of members (young, old, male, female, english speaking, foreign speaking, etc) then it's good etiquette to speak proper English where possible and keep the slang to a minimum.

Also consider that this is a WW2 forum with an emphasis on military research and sharing information. I visit other forums with an entirely different emphasis and the language I use on those is entirely different.

What others have said about not replying immediately is good advice to follow. If you see a reply to your post that you dont agree with, leave if for a couple of hours and come back to it later. I can almost guarantee that if you reply promptly then the point you want to get accross will get lost.

 

Heimbrent and Tmm have given very good advice on forum etiquette. Personally I dont mind if someone uses terms like "dude" but as tmm says, there is a wide cross section of people who post here and who think differently. As a rule of thumb, its always better to aim for polite non-colloquial language if possible, makes you more easily understood and you are treating the other members with a certain level of respect. In short they take you more seriously.

With the subject of WW2 many areas are still quite sensitive to discuss. Like it or not thats just the way it is and people won't respond well if someone posts a thread like "The SS were wayyyy cool, weren't they" . By all means if you have a question then fire away but remember that other people have different opinions to you.

but enough of my waffling, Stick with the advice given by the other members in this thread and you wont go far wrong.

 

Look, i don't like arguing ! No, i don't even see how i'm wrong. I only give in to things because i know i have no hope of getting my point across. It's just everytime i try, i always mess it up somehow with NO intention of doing it. Way i see it, people tlak about respect but just comingg up to me saying things like "You should show respect or consider using other words blahblahblah" you know, i feel like i'm being personally attacked! I'm only trying too defend myself here. I see it as people taking personal comments and attacking me to make myself feel bad.
I just want it to stop....you don't know how hard it was for me to make this thread.

Some excellent advice has come your way. Since most of us have not nor will ever meet it's difficult to describe posts as being personal. Having said that, people can only respond to what you have written. Your tone, expressions, vocabulary and style is all they have to go on.

 

From what I have read of your posts they seem to be OK I even left you some positive rep. I think you may have just pick emotive subjects that have let peeps ranting flaming tendency’s to get out of control.

As for this:
"Other person: I would think speaking in correct English, and leaving out the ignorant slang, would make a better impression."

I am Lolz at that statement.

 

We all have to start somewhere. Just think about what you want to say and try to be clear when you post. Just get involved it's the best way to learn.

 

Remember, when in Rome...

My best advice to you is to look closely at how posts from established members are formed and try to follow their lead. Most of us are cranky old turds who don't use current slang in our everyday speech and in the interest of being clearly understood, nor do we use it here.

You mentioned the word "dude." In some circles that can be a disrespectful term, depending on the circumstances.

I can understand your confusion at times. I am from the southern United States where it is is the expected practice to address our elders in a more formal tone than in other parts of the world. Ron Goldstein had to ask me twice to address him as Ron instead of Mr. Goldstein. When I first met him, it never occured to me that the use of such formalities in his world was not accepted.

I am writing a book about a man whom I have known for over 10 years. He is 90 years old we talk nearly everyday and visit with each other often. We are good friends and since we are more familiar with each other, I call call him "Mr. Marion" instead of "Mr. Sanford." It is just the way we do things in this part of the world.

 

Hi Jeff

Ron Goldstein had to ask me twice not to address him as Ron instead of Mr. Goldstein.

Just in case we baffle HOAWTD even further, I thought I'd better point out that you meant to say " Ron had to ask me to address him as Ron instead of Mr.Goldstein"



Ron

 

Academy Sergeant Major to a young officer cadet prince of the realm, 'Good morning Sir, there are a few things we need to understand. I will call you Sir and you will address me as Sir, there will of course be a difference, you Sir, will bloody well mean it!

 

Hi Jeff



Just in case we baffle HOAWTD even further, I thought I'd better point out that you meant to say " Ron had to ask me to address him as Ron instead of Mr.Goldstein"



Ron

Oops. You right on again, Mr. Gold...er...uh...Ron.

 

Reader, attend! whether thy soul
Soars fancy's flights beyond the pole,
Or darkling grubs this earthly hole,
In low pursuit:
Know, prudent, cautious, self-control
Is wisdom's root.



Burns 1786

 

I have read what everyone has said carefully.
I must admit, i was putting off checking this thread out of fear that i would recieve more negative feedback, just as the first one. Mainly people suggesting that i "Enjoy" sturring things up. In no way do i enjoy feeling like i'm just an annoying, thoughtless person that noone wants to speak to. I do take alot of what is said to me personally, even more so when it could be said by people that actually hold my respect, weather they were soldiers or just ordinary people that lived through such a traumatic time in history.

But to get to the point, i think i understand better now how to present my opinions on forums such as this. I would like to thank everyone here, for advice on grammer, presentation and even putting off replying right away to posts that i take personally.
*I will also go about changing my name and signature*

 

*I will also go about changing my name and signature*

Your user name with your current signature, does not jar, and does not, to me, come across in such a negative way anymore.

Welcome back.

Mark