Jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Gage, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  2. Andsco

    Andsco Well-Known Member

    I asked my grandad for twenty pounds.
    "Twenty pounds" he said "For what"
    "To buy groceries" I told him.
    "When I was a boy" my grandad said "my mum would give me one pound, just one pound and I'd go to the shop and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a jar of coffee and a pack of tea."
    He shrugged and paused.
    "Times have changed and you can't do that now" he told me "too many security cameras."
    Chris C, gash hand and spidge like this.
  3. Andsco

    Andsco Well-Known Member

    There was a preacher who fell into the ocean and couldn't swim.

    When a boat came by the captain yelled "Do you need help sir ?" The preacher calmly said "No God will save me"

    A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey do you need help." The preacher replied again, "No God will save me".

    Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven. The preacher asked God "why didn't you save me?"? God replied, "fool, I sent you two boats!"
    gash hand likes this.
  4. Andsco

    Andsco Well-Known Member

    No job was safe from the pandemic!
    TTH, A-58, gash hand and 3 others like this.
  5. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  6. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    4jonboy likes this.
  7. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  8. SDP

    SDP Incurable Cometoholic

    Another version of this joke is
    She's the Queen, and can move in any direction.
    gash hand, Andsco and TTH like this.
  9. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    Via Tom Holland on twatter.

    Did you hear about the non-binary prospector? They found gold in them/their hills
    4jonboy, TTH, 14/264 and 2 others like this.
  10. Blutto

    Blutto Banned

    Surely 'She/him/it found gold in them/their hills?'
  11. 8RB

    8RB Well-Known Member

    Please be aware of a massive scam that's going on this Christmas!
    I ordered my wife a set of expensive jewellery and instead got a Pickelhaube cover...

    Not my own, but loved it!
    CL1 likes this.
  12. TTH

    TTH Senior Member

    How The Allies Managed.jpg
    Dave55 likes this.
  13. TTH

    TTH Senior Member

    I Have A Tank Eff You.jpg
    CL1 and von Poop like this.
  14. TTH

    TTH Senior Member

  15. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    TTH likes this.
  16. TTH

    TTH Senior Member

    It's worthy of theft. The guy who put these together clearly knows his WWII geekery.
  17. Owen

    Owen -- --- -.. MOD

    CL1, bofors, TTH and 3 others like this.
  18. von Poop

    von Poop Adaministrator Admin

    Note to self.
    Acquire plastic toads.
    (Obviously, I already have an assortment of small plastic missiles. :unsure: )
    Owen likes this.
  19. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    Saw this on Facebook, just had to share it with y'all. Felt that I should wait a few days before posting though.

    CL1, TTH, Chris C and 6 others like this.
  20. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian Patron

    Ok this is truly terrible... you have been warned. (I think the forum expands twitter links? Maybe not)

    Paul Woodage who runs "WW2TV" on youtube wrote:

    "I bought myself a 21st Army Group toy set as an early Christmas present. It's great, it has infantry, tanks, engineers, pioneers, RASC and REME units etc. But weirdly it has no artillery I checked the box and then I realised why Batteries not included LOLOLOLOL"
    TTH, CL1, papiermache and 2 others like this.

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