Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Gage, Mar 25, 2006.
I asked my grandad for twenty pounds.
"Twenty pounds" he said "For what"
"To buy groceries" I told him.
"When I was a boy" my grandad said "my mum would give me one pound, just one pound and I'd go to the shop and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a jar of coffee and a pack of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and you can't do that now" he told me "too many security cameras."
There was a preacher who fell into the ocean and couldn't swim.
When a boat came by the captain yelled "Do you need help sir ?" The preacher calmly said "No God will save me"
A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey do you need help." The preacher replied again, "No God will save me".
Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven. The preacher asked God "why didn't you save me?"? God replied, "fool, I sent you two boats!"
No job was safe from the pandemic!
Another version of this joke is
She's the Queen, and can move in any direction.
Via Tom Holland on twatter.
Did you hear about the non-binary prospector? They found gold in them/their hills
Surely 'She/him/it found gold in them/their hills?'
Please be aware of a massive scam that's going on this Christmas!
I ordered my wife a set of expensive jewellery and instead got a Pickelhaube cover...
Not my own, but loved it!
Stealing that. Instantly.
It's worthy of theft. The guy who put these together clearly knows his WWII geekery.
Note to self.
Acquire plastic toads.
(Obviously, I already have an assortment of small plastic missiles. )
Saw this on Facebook, just had to share it with y'all. Felt that I should wait a few days before posting though.
Ok this is truly terrible... you have been warned. (I think the forum expands twitter links? Maybe not)
Paul Woodage who runs "WW2TV" on youtube wrote:
"I bought myself a 21st Army Group toy set as an early Christmas present. It's great, it has infantry, tanks, engineers, pioneers, RASC and REME units etc. But weirdly it has no artillery I checked the box and then I realised why Batteries not included LOLOLOLOL"
Separate names with a comma.