How can we not have a jokes thread?

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Za Rodinu, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Patron Patron

    zxz (2).jpg
    bofors and gash hand like this.
  2. KevinC

    KevinC Slightly wierd

    gash hand and DavidW like this.
  3. Charley Fortnum

    Charley Fortnum Dreaming of Red Eagles

  4. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    Geico Insurance runs this commercial in the US every year during Halloween week. Pretty good.

    Last edited: Oct 29, 2020
    gash hand likes this.
  5. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

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  6. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian Patron

    Courtesy of Twitter...


  7. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  8. DavidW

    DavidW Well-Known Member

    Oscar Wilde defined a gentleman thus.... "One who can play the bagpipes, but doesn't". This cartoon put me in mind of that quote.
    Dave55 likes this.
  9. Rich Payne

    Rich Payne Rivet Counter Patron 1940 Obsessive

  10. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  11. ltdan

    ltdan Nietenzähler

  12. Tricky Dicky

    Tricky Dicky Don'tre member


    It says

    Video Unavailable
    The uploader has not made this video available in your country

    So cant see anything other than a black screen with those words on it :huh:

  13. Harry Ree

    Harry Ree Very Senior Member

    "Now this is Mortain".

    "I have decided with Ike to let the Americans knock the shit out of Jerry at this point".
  14. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

    Hey TD.

    It's not important. Just a silly TV clip I found funny.
  15. Rich Payne

    Rich Payne Rivet Counter Patron 1940 Obsessive

  16. Brian Smith

    Brian Smith Junior Member

    10 points to ponder as 2020 draws to a close.

    1. The most pointless thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

    2. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

    3. The world has turned upside down. OAPs are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.

    4. This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came to my house & told my dog. We had a good laugh.

    5. Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    6. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

    7. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are.

    8. I need to practice social-distancing from the fridge.

    9. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting bored of the Living Room.

    10. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go to the bank with a mask on and ask for money.
    Andsco, gash hand, Chris C and 5 others like this.
  17. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA

  18. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Patron Patron

  19. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    Around the corner from me is some aged care accommodation which appears to have received some new Arab inmates. One of the wives was walking past the sports oval with her older husband lagging some 30 yards behind. As he passed me I said "its OK, no landmines here".
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  20. Brian Smith

    Brian Smith Junior Member

    Travel during Covid

    I have been in many places in my life but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

    I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

    I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends and family. I live close so it's a short drive.

    I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

    I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often.

    I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

    Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

    One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

    And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.

    People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before!

    I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it there.

    So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says it is on the list

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