How can we not have a jokes thread?

Went to the chemist today and asked what they had to get rid of corona virus. The young lady behind the counter said, "Ammonia Cleaner." "Oh," I replied," I'm sorry, but I thought you were the pharmacist!"

 

Good News! Apparently President Trump has come into contact with the Coronavirus.
In response, the virus has gone into self-quarantine for two weeks.

 

Kevin

 

I thought he had caught the new strain of it - now called Tannovirus

TD

 

Naw he should be all right - it only affects bats, pangolins and humans - hang on though - pangolin a scaley primitive mammal - perhaps not.

 

"I don't do much wildlife photography, so I was super excited to get these shots. They're thought to be nearly extinct. Over-hunting has had the biggest impact on their numbers. They like to travel in packs of 2, 4, 6, 8, and up, so seeing this one out solo says something about how seriously they've been affected. I'm just glad I had my zoom."

 

Be careful - there's obviously a bear in the vicinity

 

Presumably a member of the Greedy B****r species.

 

"And here our photographer has set up a lure for home sapiens feralis. We shall wait quietly and see whether the desire for toilet paper will lure one of this reclusive species out into the open."

 

The toilet paper inventory is virtually all gone and it wasn't a particularly good environmental choice anyway.

There were no lineups at the pet store and the reusable aspect of this hygiene solution made it a far superior choice. Doing my bit to save the planet, I bought 3.

 

Is this proof positive that bears shit in the woods?

 

... or canuck, perhaps?

 

Given the nature of rodents' teeth one should be careful not to deploy them anywhere near any personal objects one would not want bitten.

 

Kevin

Minions are mine


TD

 

... but they named him after MEEEEE - find your own!!

 

TD

 

TD

 

Guilty!

Ask Stolpi. One of the big attractions of extended canoe trips is that the world becomes your bathroom.