How can we not have a jokes thread?

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Za Rodinu, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    Certainly. Now hopefully the AR15 has a bayonet lug on it, you know, just in case.
  2. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

  3. Little Friend

    Little Friend Senior Member

    There's nothing like a good scratch !! Saw this odd-looking poster in a Asda car park, Oxfordshire.

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Oct 5, 2019
  4. Little Friend

    Little Friend Senior Member


    I took these a few months ago at a Asda store in Oxfordshire. If it itches, scratch it...
    canuck likes this.
  5. Robert-w

    Robert-w Well-Known Member

    There was a young lady from Natchez
    Whose clothing was always in patches.
    When comment arose
    On the state of her clothes,
    She drawled, "When I itches, I scratches."
    canuck and Little Friend like this.
  6. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

    A-58 and KevinC like this.
  7. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  8. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    On the Wehrmacht sniping range, the lieutenant says to a fellow soldier: "That new guy over there is pretty good".

    "Yes indeed, he is a fine marksman but I think we need to investigate his personal background".

    "Why?" "After every shot he carefully removes his fingerprints from the rifle".
  9. stolpi

    stolpi Well-Known Member

    Old Canadian joke:

    Beaver comes back home and sees all of its hard work destroyed ... DAMN!



    Last edited: Nov 3, 2019
    canuck likes this.
  10. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    canuck and stolpi like this.
  11. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian researcher

    From "The Swordfish Story" - this is from after Op Torch - from recollections of Don Baring-Gould -

    One other amusing incident was when we were still at Gib and we were given the task of escorting Force H through the Straits. Dennis, George and I thought we were doing a great job, particularly as there was a 60-knot headwind. We decided to sit over the leading destroyer as with only 20 knots to play with we could not move around too much. Obviously the Captain of the destroyer got a bit narked about this as it started flashing at us. As it was not too long I managed to read it: "Race you!"​
    SDP and Dave55 like this.
  12. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

    stolpi and canuck like this.
  13. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    A resurgence of beaver jokes!!

    Owen will not be amused.
    stolpi likes this.
  14. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

    stolpi likes this.
  15. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    stolpi likes this.
  16. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian researcher

    Comic from the Guardian Review which I know will resonate with some of us!

    Ewen Scott, Tolbooth and SDP like this.
  17. Robert-w

    Robert-w Well-Known Member

    Maybe Cats had a better strategy - see R Kiplling Just So Stories.
  18. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Patron Patron

    Wrong Answer,

    WIFE > What would you do if I died ? would you get married again ?

    HUSBAND > Definitely not !

    WIFE > Why not- don't you like being married ?

    HUSBAND > Of course I do.

    WIFE > Then why wouldn't you remarry ?

    HUSBAND > Okay, I'd get married again.

    WIFE > You would ? (with a hurtful look on her face)

    HUSBAND > (makes audible groan)

    WIFE > Would you live in our house ?

    HUSBAND > Sure it's a great house.

    WIFE > Would you sleep with her in our bed ?

    HUSBAND > Where else would would we sleep ?

    WIFE > Would you let her drive my car ?

    HUSBAND > Probably, it is almost new.

    WIFE > Would you replace my pictures with hers ?

    HUSBAND > That would seem like the proper thing to do.

    WIFE > Would she use my golf clubs ?

    HUSBAND > No, she's left handed.

    WIFE > --silence-- -

    HUSBAND > Oh Bugger............

    canuck likes this.
  19. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    Sorry to those who are ill-disposed to furry aquatic mammals, but we need more beaver jokes.

    canuck likes this.
  20. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?

    Nothing! Yet............


Share This Page