How can we not have a jokes thread?

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Za Rodinu, Feb 7, 2009.

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  1. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  2. jacksun

    jacksun Senior Member

    beer_NZ.jpg
     
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  3. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Patron Patron

    She said to me " I want to get fit again, what should I do ?"
    I said " run 3 miles in the morning and 3 miles in the afternoon and by this time next week you should be 42 miles away".

    Anyway, the surgeon said " once we have removed the golf club i should be able to walk again in 6 months time".

    Graham.
     
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  4. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  5. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  6. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian researcher

    "Here in the most beautiful fountain in Trafalgar Square you have the audacity, and the audicity to wash an overcoat, thus fouling the water. You might have waited until I finished my bath!" - the Goon Show
     
  7. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

     
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  8. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  9. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  10. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    And Donald Trump is still fighting Democrat led investigations into his supposed Russian links.
     
  11. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  12. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Patron Patron

    I was sent this today.
    Graham.
    mu1.jpg
     
  13. HAARA

    HAARA Well-Known Member

    Flatulence (n): the vehicle that is sent to rescue you after you have been flattened by a road roller.
    Soupçon (n): male heir to the Heinz family
    Flabergasted (adj.): appalled at how much weight you have gained.
    Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline
    Disconsolate: (n): the excuse you use when arriving late at work after the night club you were at continued until after 9a.m.
    Dynasty (n): a horrible way to go
     
  14. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

  15. Old Git

    Old Git Harmless Curmudgeon

    My wife has been missing for a whole week now. Last night the police advised me to prepare myself for the worst possible outcome, so this morning I went down the charity shop and got all her clothes back!
     
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  16. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  17. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  18. Chris C

    Chris C Canadian researcher

    Saw this recently on twitter

    When Lord Nelson died he was 5 feet tall. His statue is 15 feet tall. That's Horatio of 3:1.

    :D
     
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  19. Dave55

    Dave55 Atlanta, USA Patron

  20. Charley Fortnum

    Charley Fortnum Dreaming of Red Eagles

    Not a joke, but certainly humour. At the height of the cold war, the British used a Ferret scout car, frogmen and eight high explosive charges to take out... one small fish.

    BBC Archive on Twitter

    Many will recognise the name of the officer in charge of this important operation.
     
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