How can we not have a jokes thread?

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Za Rodinu, Feb 7, 2009.

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  1. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    A young New York City woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Hudson River. Just before she could throw herself from the bridge, a handsome young man stopped her.

    "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."

    With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.

    That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.

    From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.

    Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

    "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

    "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."

    "I see," the captain said.

    Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

    "He certainly is," replied the captain. “This is the Staten Island Ferry."
     
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  2. Dave55

    Dave55 Very Senior Member

  3. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    [​IMG]
     
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  4. Rich Payne

    Rich Payne Rivet Counter Patron 1940 Obsessive

    I assume that this was someone at Duxford having a joke....I hope so. Apparently it was deleted quite quickly though so either the prankster was caught, or erm...it wasn't :)

    Hurricanes.jpg
     
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  5. Tricky Dicky

    Tricky Dicky Don'tre member

  6. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    I was trying to recall hearing that quote from Young Frankenstein, then I realized that your footnote was in reference to the "What knockers" quote.
     
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  8. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    bt.JPG
     
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  9. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

    Here you go, enjoy!

     
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  10. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    Well, there go his chances for a Supreme Court appointment!
     
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  11. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

    This may have too much of a Canadian flavour but you get the idea.

    hortons.jpg
     
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  12. Blutto

    Blutto Plane Mad

    It's bad enough when you are following a people mover at McDonalds with a soccer mom and half the team wanting ice cream cones, chicken nuggets and a selection of dips. It just isn't fast food anymore.
     
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  13. timuk

    timuk Well-Known Member

    Inspired by the thread 'How to date a hedge.
    A good tip for saving time mowing the lawn in the summer. When watering add a bottle of whisky. The grass then comes up half cut!

    Tim
     
  14. Dave55

    Dave55 Very Senior Member

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  15. Tricky Dicky

    Tricky Dicky Don'tre member

    Ye - i do zat once an look wat happed - i fill off me mower

    DT
     
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  16. canuck

    canuck Token Colonial Patron

  17. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

  18. ozzy16

    ozzy16 Patron Patron

    Received this today. Graham. teacher.jpg
     
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  19. Dave55

    Dave55 Very Senior Member

  20. A-58

    A-58 Not so senior Member

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