Because of a slight difference in altitude, the flooding of the Netherlands did not always affect the Nether Regions.
Studies into the protection of vital organs quickly established that helmets were of little benefit to Guardsmen.
Berlin, May 1945 ... What is the scale of this map of the Reich? Er, it's one to one - this is now the actual size. (with apologies to Blackadder Goes Forth)
Egg and chips thrice, sausage and chips twice, twenty pints lager....There! I told you, it WAS service included, and you left a 50 centime tip....
Half Man, Half Woodlouse - All Conquering! Is YOUR war not progressing as fast and successfully as you'd hoped? Are you having trouble explaining away all those embarrassing casualty lists? Do not despair! Update your army's combat efficiency for 1917 with the new Vickers Trench Arthropod 3000. No more watching in frustration as line after line of your conventional soft-bodied infantry are mown down by Hun machine guns! Fully protected from 99% of Central European weaponry* by the revolutionary new "Frankenstein" invertebrate/vertebrate melding technique, which combines the impervious carapace of the woodlouse with the hearty constitution of the well-fed Tommy. And speaking of well-fed, goodbye to grey hairs for the Q Bloke - the Vickers Trench Arthropod 3000 will march a full day on handful of decaying leaf matter, and still mount an effective trench raid that night. Why not take a battalion on sale-or-return today, and prepared to be amazed at the future of modern warfare. * not including the Krupps "Sturm Igel" Battle Hedgehog, which will - quite literally - eat it for breakfast. Terms and conditions apply. Limbs and other extremities not covered by manufacturer's warranty. Do not let your Trench Arthropod 3000 dry out or it will curl up and die, keep well-moistened at all times - ideal for deployment year-round in the Ypres Salient, and almost anywhere in winter. Users may find it loses some directional consistency in direct sunlight, so schedule assaults accordingly for optimum effect. Always provide firm section-level leadership in combat to prevent your Trench Arthropod 3000 curling up into a ball and remaining immobile, or crawling under a plant pot to hide.
