Talk about awkward eye contact... "No, lootenant. I want to inspect your other privates." "No, doc. I got a bullet through this helmet." "Son, we go Ranger, not commando." Yanks by name...
That reminds me of something William Manchester wrote in Goodbye Darkness. One of his comrades in the USMC had a tattoo of 'Hi Doc' under his foreskin to be displayed during a short arm inspection. Sadly, the joke wasn't appreciated and the marine was placed under arrest for disrespect to an officer.
Your effort absolutely deserves an extensive round of applause, or clap even. Kind regards and umbrellas, Jim.